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Brought to you by Squish

In the rocking chair, drifting off to a nap this afternoon:

Squish: "When I get bigger, I'm going to have a baby."

Me: "Oh that's great, love.  What baby?"

Squish: "Baby Mateo."

Me: "That's nice.  What will Baby Mateo do?"

Squish: "Baby Mateo is a nice baby.  He cries."

Me: "Hmmmm... he cries?  Maybe he is tired."

Squish quiet - closing his eyes.

Squish: "He a nice baby ... alligator eats Baby Mateo."

Me: "Wow - an alligator eats your baby?!?"

Squish: "Yeah - snap!"

Me: "Hmmm.  Sounds dramatic."

Squish: "Eats me and [Bug]."

Me: "That alligator eats Baby Mateo, then you, and then [Bug]?!?"

Squish: "Yes.  Snaps that monkey right out of that tree."

1.78 seconds later, Squish sleeps in my arms.


Monday morning

Before I put the car in reverse and backed out of the driveway this morning, I turned around and asked the boys, "Are Mondays a little harder than every other day for us?"

Bug said, "Yeah."

Indeed they are.

Somewhere between trying to get little teeth brushed and socks on little feet, Squish fell over and bumped his face with his "guitar" (i.e., ukulele).

Yes, a ukulele.  Just to keep things nice and simple in the morning, what you really want is a ukulele in the bathroom while you try brushing your toddler's teeth and putting his socks on.  Everyone should try it.


I fly on planes

This morning, while I was eating breakfast with Bug and Squish, Bug said, "I am going to work!"

Then Squish said, "I am getting on a plane!"

At which point, they both laughed and laughed and started repeating their little mantra about going to work and getting on a plane over and over and over.

After I dropped the two goofballs off at daycare/preschool, I got on a plane for the fourth work trip in four weeks.

To be clear, I am slowly unraveling and saying things to Bug's Pre-K teacher like, "See you in a couple days!  Unless I quit, and then I guess I'll see you again tomorrow! Ha ha ha ha ha ha haaaaaaaa!"

But I have two silver linings.

First, I get to see a dear friend while I am on this trip to Atlanta.

Second, my travel has become a source of material for The Bug and Squish Comedy Hour - which is far better than my sorry little momma heart would have believed before this morning.


You win some, you lose some, Superwoman.

Does it ever feel like parenting is a series of wins and losses?  I am a logical and thoughtful person, and I know that parenting is not a zero-sum game.  Not a game at all, for that matter.  Sure.  Of course I know that.

But the feeling persists.  Sometimes as a quiet hum, and sometimes as a loud wail.  Today was like a wail.

This morning, for the first time in two weeks, Bug, Squish, and I were back to our morning routine.  And so, as anyone could have guessed, we had a late start.


Lesson? What lesson?

Santa gave Squish a toy cell phone, and Santa gave Bug a small robotic shark.

Early in the evening on Christmas, Bug wanted to play with Squish's toy cell phone.  He wanted to play with it very badly.  He tried to pry the toy from Squish's hands.  He started to yell for the toy.  As did Squish.

I intervened.


If you're up all night, does the sunrise really make it a new day?

This morning, around 7:45 am, as Bug, Squish, and I were getting ready to leave for the day, Bug had a fit.  He did not want to go to school.  He wanted to stay home.  He wanted my husband to appear magically transported from his job back at home. 

When we managed to get outside, about ten feet closer to the car and the ultimate goal of starting our "new" day, Bug looked at the melting snow in the yard and started to cry/yell: "I don't want the snow to melt!  I DON'T WANT THE SNOW TO MELT!"

Why was sweet Bug freaking out?


Should we just call this blog A Squish Loves Coffee Dot Blogspot Dot Com?

Friday morning, at my husband's parents' house, the second pot of coffee was brewing.  Coffee mugs were lined up at one end of the kitchen island.

Squish: "Is that coffee?!? [You may not know this, but I actually love coffee.]"

Saturday morning, at my husband's parents' house, the third pot of coffee was brewing.  Again, coffee mugs were clustered at one end of the island.

Squish: "Coffee?!?? [Some people say their first cup of coffee in the morning is the best.  But I actually like the third cup the best.  But . . . it's hard to have a third cup when you haven't had a first or a second cup yet.  Pass me a cup of coffee.  I'll catch up to you all with your Third Cups in no time.  Trust me.]

Saturday night, in my living room, a certain prequel about monsters in college was playing on the television.  The characters were enjoying drinking from mugs.

Squish: "Coffee???????!!!!!!!!!!!!!!??????????????  COFFEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!"

Bug: "No.  That's hot cocoa."