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quiet mind

I keep trying to think of a post that will be witty, entertaining, and hilarious . . . but then end on a tender note.  Just keep racking my brain.  My poor, spazzy little brain.

Folks, not much is coming.  Moving is one of those things that I readily acknowledge is a stressful life event, but that I also believe should not stress me out for longer than about a week.

I like to travel.  I like adventures.  I lived in Boston for four years before I lived in New York.  We have a strong support system already in place up here - good friends and nearby family.  We found a good apartment (with free laundry in the basement) in record time.  The boxes are unpacked.  The cable is hooked up.  We know where the grocery stores are.  We found quality childcare in record time and lucked into two spots, one for Bug and one for Squish.

Yet, somehow, I have not made it to the other side of this thing.  This awful thing called moving.

Is it as awful as an actually awful thing?  Absolutely not.

Is it a surprisingly slow process?  Yep.

Some of the changes are good.  Some are a little challenging.  And some are neutral but are nevertheless things that my brain has failed to accept.

In the bathroom, I keep trying to use the little glass shelf on the wall above the toilet.  But there is no glass shelf there -- because it is a different bathroom.

During drop-off and pick-up at the boys' new "school," I keep expecting to see a familiar face from Bug's old school.  But no one there is more than two-weeks-familiar.

At night and on the weekends, I keep checking my blackberry.  Why?  Not sure, but my breath gets fast and shallow and my heart speeds up a little right before I check.  (Not in an exciting, hopeful kind of way.)  There are rarely emails anymore.

Around 8am today, I thought we could go to Pennsylvania for a quick day-trip.  Twenty minutes later, I realized that we now live about six hours away from the nearest point in Pennsylvania.

Generally, I feel displaced and disoriented.  A giant case of cognitive dissonance.

So, I have tried to start meditating again.  I need a quieter mind (for at least ten minutes a day).  Wish me luck.

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