My husband and I wondered for several weeks toward the end of the first trimester when and how we would tell the boys about baby number three.
I read articles about creating a comfortable environment in which my children would be able to express conflicting feelings, and I would tell them that I have felt happy and anxious at times, too. I would guide them through the complex emotional landscape known as Momma Is Having Another Baby.
We finally decided that we would tell them on a weekend. I did not want to tell them on a weeknight because I didn't want any anxiety about the news to affiliate itself with bedtime. I then read an article confirming that bedtime was the wrong time to reveal our big news. Good. So we were on track to be amazing parents.
And the best laid plans . . . confronted an bumped into an ordinary Thursday night, after dinner:
Bug, standing on the couch, looked down at my belly - which the third time around is noticeable even in the first trimester.
He said, "Why is your belly so big?!?"
I just looked at him and said, "What?" (A tactic I use whenever I am trying to avoid answering a question.)
Bug repeated, "Why is your belly SO big?!? Why is it so fat?!?"
I looked at my husband in the other room and said, "[Bug] wants to know why my belly is so big."
My husband smiled.
Bug kept staring at my belly, then up at my face, then back at the belly.
He smiled and asked in a whisper, "Is there a baby in there?"
"Yes," I replied.
"What baby?!?" he exclaimed.
"A new baby that will be here in the spring," I answered, wondering if I was about to find out how capable I would be as a guide through the complex emotional landscape known as Momma Is Having Another Baby.
Bug got pretty excited and jumped around saying a few nonsensical sentences.
Squish had been jumping around on the couch near Bug for most of this exchange. At some point, I heard my husband tell Squish that he was going to be a big brother.
Squish acknowledged the news by puffing out his three-year-old belly and proclaiming, "I have a baby in my belly, too!"
Then it was business as usual for both of them. Time for the bath. Pretty small emotional landscape, if we had journeyed across one at all. Apparently, we're ready. All four of us.
12.22.2014
12.18.2014
First Trimester Fun - Part 2
Remember how tiring the first trimester is?
No?
Right. I didn't either. Then around week 11 or so, I was sitting at my desk at work thinking, "Gosh, I am tired! Those other times I was pregnant, I had an office and could close the door and curl up on the floor under my desk. That sure sounds luxurious now. I know this office is quiet and slow, but I am pretty sure someone would notice if I curled up on the floor at my cubicle right now."
So I did what I do sometimes, and I Googled my troubles.
Google: "peak exhaustion pregnancy"
Results: not helpful
I tried again because I was so tired it didn't seem at all absurd.
Google: "peak exhaustion first trimester"
Results: not helpful
I took a break from asking the internet to help me and tried to tell myself, "Hey - this is probably the worst of it - you know the answer. Stop Googling it, silly! And by all means, please stop reGoogling after you have already discovered nothing helpful in the internet. The only way the internet could help you now is if it could reach out to hand you a pillow, a blanket, four walls, a door, and fifteen minutes to lie down on a couch before you go back to reading about the latest and greatest in accounting standards."
I hated that advice and went back to Google because I was so tired it didn't seem at all absurd - again.
No?
Right. I didn't either. Then around week 11 or so, I was sitting at my desk at work thinking, "Gosh, I am tired! Those other times I was pregnant, I had an office and could close the door and curl up on the floor under my desk. That sure sounds luxurious now. I know this office is quiet and slow, but I am pretty sure someone would notice if I curled up on the floor at my cubicle right now."
So I did what I do sometimes, and I Googled my troubles.
Google: "peak exhaustion pregnancy"
Results: not helpful
I tried again because I was so tired it didn't seem at all absurd.
Google: "peak exhaustion first trimester"
Results: not helpful
I took a break from asking the internet to help me and tried to tell myself, "Hey - this is probably the worst of it - you know the answer. Stop Googling it, silly! And by all means, please stop reGoogling after you have already discovered nothing helpful in the internet. The only way the internet could help you now is if it could reach out to hand you a pillow, a blanket, four walls, a door, and fifteen minutes to lie down on a couch before you go back to reading about the latest and greatest in accounting standards."
I hated that advice and went back to Google because I was so tired it didn't seem at all absurd - again.
12.11.2014
First Trimester Fun - Part 1
Now that I have shared the amazing news that we are expecting a third munchkin, I would like to share some of the highlights from the first trimester.
The following is the first of a few installments I will call First Trimester Fun (and by "fun" I mean what most people mean when they say "nausea" or "exhaustion.")
One night, around week 8, I said to my sister, "I either rage or cry these days. No in-between. Just those two settings. I should start a twitter feed and list what happens during the day to set me off with hashtags: #rage or #tears."
My husband offered to get me a glass of sparkling lime water one night. #tears
The woman behind the desk at the Y asked me to swipe our member ID cards a second time. #rage
On a Monday, my husband told me it was probably going to rain all week. #tears
I got a parking ticket. #rage
I felt so, so tired. #tears
I thought about the fact that my job only provides six weeks of paid leave . #rage #tears #morerage
I saw Zoomy's heart beating during an ultrasound. #tears
The following is the first of a few installments I will call First Trimester Fun (and by "fun" I mean what most people mean when they say "nausea" or "exhaustion.")
One night, around week 8, I said to my sister, "I either rage or cry these days. No in-between. Just those two settings. I should start a twitter feed and list what happens during the day to set me off with hashtags: #rage or #tears."
My husband offered to get me a glass of sparkling lime water one night. #tears
The woman behind the desk at the Y asked me to swipe our member ID cards a second time. #rage
On a Monday, my husband told me it was probably going to rain all week. #tears
I got a parking ticket. #rage
I felt so, so tired. #tears
I thought about the fact that my job only provides six weeks of paid leave . #rage #tears #morerage
I saw Zoomy's heart beating during an ultrasound. #tears
12.09.2014
Babies in bellies
Bug: "I want a baby in my belly!"
Squish: "Me, too!!"
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery?
Maybe. We'll see how they feel when Zoomy arrives in late May. Until then, I will be the tired (but very happy) pregnant lady who tried (unsuccessfully?) to hide her belly for the first four months at work.
Squish: "Me, too!!"
Imitation is the sincerest form of flattery?
Maybe. We'll see how they feel when Zoomy arrives in late May. Until then, I will be the tired (but very happy) pregnant lady who tried (unsuccessfully?) to hide her belly for the first four months at work.
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