all before 7:20

I refused to get up this morning.  Not just refused the day or the universe or the alarm clock.  I sank to a new low and refused my child.


Bug: "Mommy, it's morning.  I see the sun is going to come up.  Get up!"

Me (rolling over - away from person talking to me): "Three minutes."

Bug: "No."

Me: "One minute."

Bug: "I don't want any minutes!"

Me (eyes still closed, still hoping for ten seconds of peace): "Okay."

Overhead light in bedroom came on.

Bug: "I turned on the light!"

Me (pulling covers over my head): "I know."

Floor lamp came on.

Bug: "I turned on the nother light.  Time to get up!"

Me (not moving from under my covers): "Okay."

Three minutes later.

Bug: "I have a poop in my diaper!"

Me (getting up): "Okay."

Within a few minutes, Bug was cleaned up, I was out of bed, and Squish was also awake.  Bug and Squish were on the couch so that I could address The Dish Situation looming in the kitchen sink when I smelled something vaguely poop-ish (for lack of a more delicate phrase, as usual).  I smelled my hands - implicitly acknowledging that I may have done a mediocre job washing my hands after I took care of Bug's diaper this morning.

My hands - thankfully - smelled like coconut and lemon.

I looked down at my shirt and saw a stain.  Yes, that was the source of the smell.  And then I realized that my shirt must have been soiled when I carried Squish to the living room.  And then I realized that Squish was probably soiling the couch as I was having all of these realizations.

I took Squish from the couch and to the changing table for a new diaper.  I changed my own shirt and washed my hands.

When I looked at the clock it was 7:20.  Part of me thought, "Wow.  That is a lot of poop all in one morning before 7:30."  Part of me thought, "Hmmmm... normally, by 7:30 we are brushing teeth and talking about getting jackets and shoes on.  Today, I have only managed to change two diapers and heat two frozen waffles.  No one is dressed.  No one has finished breakfast.  No one's bags are packed for the day.  I am going to be later than usual today."